Running Headlong Into My New Life

Ah, blessed be the job opportunities.

In spite of the fact that I had no income, I kept hitting the local bar once a week for a) my sanity and b) networking. Both things occurred, and now I have two jobs.

The first one started Friday night. I'm a bouncer at a place called Bernie's. It's literally across the street from Wrigley Field (about a 10 minute walk from my apartment), and it's been there for 50 years. It's amazing, too, because the Cubs are winning. They haven't won a championship in 99 years, yet they have an incredible fan base. I've never cared anything for sports, but being in a room with 100 people shouting, cheering, and sharing a joy over their victory on Friday was infectious. No one alive has seen them win a championship, and now they have a real shot. It's making a fan out of me, slowly but surely—I've had the song "Go Cubs Go" in my head for two days.

On Monday morning, I start training for my office job. Five days a week from 8 to 5, then a few (3 or 4) days a week as a bouncer for some extra cash means I'm going to keep my sanity as well as the roof over my head. Each of these jobs is going to counteract the other, and I'm going to have three things I haven't had since I got here: a reason to be out of the house for more than 2 hours at a time; a social outlet; money. I'm breathing the first sigh of relief I've had since I got here.

In other news, my debit card was cloned and someone charged $600 at a Wal-Mart in Islandia, New York, my computer died and is at the Best Buy repair center until God knows when, and Sunday is my last day off for at least two weeks. But those are just inconveniences.

Searching

I gave up on the teacher's aide thing. They seemed to want far too much of a commitment from me than what I wanted to give. And frankly, I have a college degree--I can't accept less than $10 an hour until I get more desprate, rewarding though the work may be. I'm still doing Mad Science, though, it's extremely part-time.

I got in with a temp company, too. The only job they have at the moment starts October 1st and runs through the end of the year. It's an 8 to 5 office job, data entry. Sounds boring, but it pays. In fact, sitting in that environment for that many hours a day sounds like my own personal vision of Hell.

As long as I get what I want in the end, right? Maybe it'll lead to something better, and maybe it'll just kill time until the better thing rears its head.

Versatility

So I may become an educator. I applied (and was accepted for) Mad Science, a program that teaches one hour science lessons to grade schools. It's just like the elementary school chemistry shows we put on when I was in high school, only I get paid for it. A little.

I also have a lead as a teacher's aide at a school for emotionally disturbed children. If I get it, it doesn't pay well, but it pays enough. Most importantly, it's a day job. Leaves plenty of time in the evenings and weekend for theatre type things.

I'm trying. Swear to God I am.

Getting Nervous

So I haven't worked in a month. This would be much cooler if I wasn't living on a dwindling supply of borrowed cash. I've turned in a half-dozen applications, but even the people saying they're hiring (via Craigslist) don't look twice at me. I think I can make it another month, *possibly* two, before I run completely out of cash, but I'll be whoring myself before that happens.

Mostly, I'm just bored. It's a good thing I'm comfortable in this apartment, because I'm never gone from it for more than about three hours at a time. I watch movies & downloaded TV shows. I play with my cat. I'm happy my furniture is all comfy. And sometimes I seriously consider going for a jog or something before I think better of it and do something else. I'm even embarrassed to call my friends who live here in town, because I can't think of anything to do that doesn't involve coming over and watching TV, because that's all I do all day anyway.

A week in Chicago and all is well

A couple of hours a day spent unpacking, figuring out where things go, and we should be pretty well set up around here—in about a month. The apartment is really coming together, and is starting to feel like home. Pictures are hung, furniture is arranged, and though some boxes haven't been unpacked, I can't see any full ones from where I'm sitting. Progress is being made.

The bad news is that I feel I can only guarantee a job in a bar/restaurant, which a) is exactly what I was doing in Dallas, and b) takes up those night and weekend hours when I'd want to do theatre. The good news is that a) there is a bar/restaurant literally right around the corner from my building, I have lots of experience so they're likely to hire me next week (knock, knock), and b) craigslist has lots of voice-over jobs in this city. So far, it sounds like the same formula I lived with in Dallas, which makes me raise an eyebrow.

But this town is different. Why? Because I say it is. I know it's all in the mind, but it's still the case that here is where I always wanted to be, and here I am. I'm uncomfortable saying I needed to move to make a fresh start, because I like to think I have the mental discipline to be able to do whatever I want wherever I am. If I put it into my head that this was possible in Dallas, then it was. And I'm sure it was, but I wasn't ever doing it—I was just making excuses.

I'm fresh out of excuses. Now all I want is to make something of myself professionally, something I can be proud of. When someone asks, "What do you do?", I want to be able to say that I do something . . . well, important. I don't want to be an actor who does something for money; I want to be an actor. Period.

Maybe I'll get it for Christmas...