Humbled

I had an experience last night that has taken down my pride a notch

Applying for graduate school and remembering the physical requirements for the movement classes thereof reminded me, in yet another way, that I’m way out of shape. I get no small joy from exercise, especially jogging – but snow and ice upon the ground and temperatures that don’t rise above the teens have put that particular activity at a standstill in lieu of a thaw. So, reminded and inspired by Lee Adama about the benefits of a jump rope (even if it was a body double), I went out and bought one last weekend.

My apartment, thankfully, has a high enough ceiling to accommodate, and a quick shuffle of my furniture gives me the horizontal space I require. I discovered, not for the first time, that a new physical activity is difficult no matter what you’re used to. Weight lifting doesn’t much prepare you for the rigors of rock climbing, and jogging is not the same as jumping. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself until I got a look at my reflection.

I have some extra weight around my middle, and I’ve accepted that. Even in my Superman costume I was overweight, but being so taught me enough about how to carry myself and position my arms in such a way as to block my extra padding from view. The one space I can jump, however, is right in front of a window. Thankfully, I can keep the blinds closed. Thankful, too, am I that the windows were recently heat-sealed, providing a thick sheet of plastic over the windows. I have am ambivalent, however, about the fact that said plastic provides a reflection of my shirtless torso as I bounce repeatedly.

It’s gross.

Combined with pushups and sit ups, I know I’m building a good exercise régime without having to leave my apartment, the likes of which I’ve not had since I owned a Bowflex and a punching bag. When I look at my reflection, I see the remnants of sculpture in my shoulders and chest. Below the breastbone, however, is an extra sac of guts I’ve always referred to as my winter coat, rippling in a way that reminds me of every shot of Homer Simpson in slow motion.

I’ve always been a firm believer in a harsher translation of the serenity prayer – either accept your situation, or do something to change it. If you’ve done neither, you’ve lost your right to complain. I could choose to face the other direction when I jump, but I think taking a good look at myself gives me an important reflection (yuk yuk yuk) o f the way I really look, and exactly how far I have to go before I’m proud of what I see.

And now that the pattern of my life has begun to alter from mundane repetition, the blogs should appear more often.