Odd Man Out

The Vulcan narrator for A Klingon Christmas Carol 2012 is named Brendan, and one night Kevin accidentally called him Brandi. Then we started singing ("I say Brendan, you're a Vulcan, what a good wife you would be..."), and I felt compelled to come home and write the whole song.  It was a fine way to spend an afternoon.   Feel free to use the video link to sing along, especially if you want to appreciate to its fullest how hard I worked to make the songs match: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tRXewCAmU

Note: the lyrics are a leetle different from what was originally posted on Facebook, but I'm allowed to do that if I want to 'cause I wrote this, so suck it.

There’s a stage, where we set our play
And we serve a hundred folks a day
A little story, 'bout the Klingon way
To spend their ram nI’ bam

And there’s a man in this little town
And he speaks, layin’ the story down
We say “Brendan, let’s start another round”
He knows the best way to start.

The Klingons say “Brendan, you’re a Vulcan” (you’re a Vulcan)
“What a warrior you would be” (such a Vulcan)
“Yeah your eyes, they’re breakin’ the fourth wall stoically”

Brendan wears a purple robe
With a centerpiece made of flashy gold
Those symbols say his heart is cold
But we know what Brendan loves

He auditioned on a summer’s day
Bringing comic skills from his Improv ways
But he made it clear he couldn’t fray
‘Cause fighting’s not his style

EVT he said “Brendan, you’re a Vulcan” (you’re a Vulcan)
“What a Klingon you would be” (such a Vulcan)
“But your life was made to tell stories passively”

Yeah, Brendan always soaps his eyes
When he tells our Long Night Story
He can feel the blood wine in our cries
As we fight each other for glory
But he’ll never hold a bat’leth, truth, Lord he has an empty hand
And Brendan does his best to understand

At night, when SQuja’ knows the score
Brendan stands by the exit door
He wants to march to Sto’Vo’Kor
But he knows what Chris would say.

He hears him say “Brendan, you’re a Vulcan” (you’re a Vulcan)
“What a SuvwI' you would be” (such a Vulcan)
“But your life was made to tell stories passively”

He hears him say “Brendan, you’re a Vulcan” (you’re a Vulcan)
“What a warrior you would be” (such a Vulcan)
“But your life was made to tell stories passively”