Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Make God laugh. Tell Him your plans.

They say when God closes a door, he opens a window.

For me, maybe it was a revolving door, or something. Maybe He pushed back the light at the end of the tunnel. At any rate, my life just got interesting in a whole different kind of way.

For nearly a year, I've been planning to go study in Moscow at the MXAT school this coming January. I've been preparing for this in my heart, in my mind, with my friends, at my job, and with my girlfriend. But now things have altered. A few days ago, I was told the first-year class I was going to join has too many students to add one more; there's just no room for me.

So I panicked a little, and considered possible options. After some discussion with the dean of the school, it was decided the best thing to do is join the second-year students next fall. This way, it won't affect my graduation--I'll still be done at the same time. And it's good, too, because it gives me more time to learn Russian, to gather my finances, and to meet my new nephew before he turns four. Not a bad setup, all things considered.

The downer? I still have to work at the same fucking job. Three years ago, I decided I'd had enough of that place and I need to get out. It's taken this long to find something else I really want to do with myself that will accept me. Now it'll be an additional eight months longer than I'd planned.

The most awkward part is what Lindsay and I are going through. For months, we've been preparing to break up when I go, and the very nature of our relationship has altered significantly because of this—I'll leave the details to your imagination, but I will say it hasn't been easy. What will happen to us now is something we'll only discover over the next few months.