Grounded

I would like to take this moment to lament how horrible it is that in this consumer-based economy, there are those who would prey on the inexperienced. They feel no remorse for helping to over-extend the financial responsibilities of those who don't know any better, and make a quick and easy profit when said inexperienced soul has to pay a 19.99% interest rate on all purchases via "credit".

Responsibility without education gets one . . . . let's just say "into trouble". And while I'm on the topic, education without ambition gets one "depressed".

And now I'm done lamenting on THIS particular topic. Why stop now? Because not only am I one of those who got preyed upon, but I'm one who knows exactly how to get out of the forest of debt, and has thus far taken no serious steps (read: sacrifices) to get OUT of the forest. One of the aspects of my personal philosophy states that one should not complain; one should alter the situation, or adapt to it.

Or just not bitch.

Anyway.

I'm annoyed about it THIS week because I managed to do one of the most embarrassing things I've ever done YET AGAIN this week—I overdrew my checking account. About every six months or so, I stop acting responsible and I start forgetting that the amount of money I'm spending doesn't equal the amount I'm making, and the bank charges a hefty sum for that. I know what it is I'm supposed to be doing to make certain my financial responsibilities are met, and yet time and again I refuse to meet them. Maybe this is why God hasn't seen fit to let me win the lottery, or put some large sum of money in my hands—He knows I'd just abuse it. No matter how much I seem to have, I keep finding ways to overextend myself.

I feel better. Thank you.

But it's particularly annoying this time, not simply for the fact that I've wounded myself in the wallet once more, but because it puts a dent in my plan of action that I came up with just a day or two ago.

First, it's time to begin Russian lessons once again. Sure, I can learn one way or another on my own, but paying for the 1-on-1 lessons with another human being is a) necessary and b) expensive. I'm hard-pressed to start up again when I'm not completely certain how I'm going to pay for food or gas or rent over the course of this next month. Hopefully I'll do well at the restaurant during Valentine's Day weekend.

But more—I'm trying to no longer be the person I was, or the person I am today. I'm trying to become the person I'm GOING to become. To that end, I have another means in mind. I'm going to get back into Taekwondo.

Taekwondo quite literally changed my life. It wasn't just a matter of harmonizing my mind with my body (which it did quite well, thank you very much), but it was infusing my very soul with an inner peace and sense of accomplishment I hadn't known before. My life became more structured. I became more self-disciplined. I set goals for myself, and met them every time. Almost exactly two years ago, I had one of the most proud experiences of my life there—but that's a story for another time.

I stopped taking it because of the expense of Russian lessons. But since I've come into my new apartment, I've realized a few things: Rent is cheaper by nearly the cost of a month's worth of TKD lessons. When I take into account that my other bills are only half what they used to be, freeing up my financial structure even more, I see that going back to the study of martial arts is once again within my reach.

Besides, as much fun as it's been hanging out with friends at the bar, I've come to realize that I have more to learn and more to gain through TKD than through socialization. No disrespect intended to ANY of my friends, but knocking back bourbon has NOTHING to do with the discipline I desire in my life.

I'm trying to change myself so that I may better respect the person I see in the mirror. That man is my greatest enemy, and no one else on this earth knows my weaknesses like he does. I'd better kick his ass before he kicks mine.